


Teal Texters

by junkienicky



Series: Snapshots [10]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: Attempt at humour, Gen, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Minor pairings - Freeform, Texting, suspend your disbelief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-03
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-22 07:03:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20870153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junkienicky/pseuds/junkienicky
Summary: With the rise of smuggled phones, Boomer adds everyone to a group chat...What could possibly go wrong?





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Chat Box H](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11012001) by [SugarsweetRomantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarsweetRomantic/pseuds/SugarsweetRomantic). 

**Booms added Franky and 5 other people to the group chat.**

**Booms changed the group name to 'H Block bitcheeess!'**

**Franky:** Wtf

**Doreen:** omg this is a great idea booms

**Franky:** Bad idea.

**Booms:** :(

**Liz:** Oh what's this?

**Booms:** bloody gc liz get with the times

**Liz:** ?

**Jess:** Still plenty of photos of Joshie to go round if anyone wants to see, me and Doreen are watching telly :)

**Liz:** Saw them earlier darling, wish I could come sit with you.

**Franky:** booms you're supposed to be fucking helping me tidy the kitchen

**Booms:** hehe

**Franky:** >:(

**Bea:** This will only end in tears.

**Maxine:** I second that.

**Booms:** Ur both boring !

**Booms:** we need nicknames 

**Franky:** no we don't

**Booms changed Franky's name to Chef Doyle**

**Booms changed Maxine's name to Maxi Pad**

**Booms changed Jess's name to Creeper**

**Booms changed Bea's name to Top Dog**

**Booms changed Doreen's name to Doors**

**Booms changed Liz's name to Lagger**

**Maxi Pad**: Original...

**Lagger:** Really? Come on.

**Creeper:** Creeper?

**Booms:** oi @Chef Doyle what did the freak want bfore

**Chef Doyle:** me.

**Booms:** kinky

**Top Dog:** Cindy Lou had a lot off about you earlier.

**Chef Doyle:** so?

**Top Dog:** I want everyone in for a meeting later.

**Chef Doyle:** Yes mum

**Booms:** lmao

**Creeper:** sure

**Doors:** Yeah no worries

**Booms:** hey jackson looks cute today ;)

**Chef Doyle:** bye.

**Creeper:** I'm so glad he's back

**Booms:** hands off

**Booms:** mine.

**Booms:** hes been working out I think

**Top Dog:** FFS.

**Booms:** god I'd climb him like a tree

**Booms:** reckon out of all of us bea's the last person he'd shag since the suspension LMAOOO

**Top Dog:** Watch it.

**Booms changed to group name to 'Jacksons body lovers'.**

**Chef Doyle left the group chat.**

**Booms added Chef Doyle to the group chat.**

**Booms:** Ya not getting off that easily

**Chef Doyle:** Ur so annoying

**Top Dog changed the group name to 'H Block Chat'.**

**Top Dog:** Actually this could be useful...

**Maxi Pad:** Yeah maybe it could

**Chef Doyle:** ok brown noser

**Maxi Pad:** Darling I know you've been weight-lifting recently but just so you know, I can break you like a twig :)

**Liz:** Ha ha.

**Booms:** LOOOOOOOOOOL yeah but nah you've got nothing on me tho

**Booms:** plus you'd have to get through me to get to her first

**Maxi Pad:** Sounds very intimate.

**Booms:** yea it's called being best mates. wierdo 

**Maxi Pad:** That's *weirdo, lovely.

**Booms:** whatever....

**Chef Doyle:** hey Red we were very 'intimate' once remember ;)

**Top Dog:** If you mean when I beat you on your arse then yes.

**Chef Doyle:** well I remember differently

**Top Dog:** Well your memory's fuzzy 

**Doors:** My cravings are going thru the bloody roof today

**Liz:** Oh love when I was pregnant with Artie all I wanted to eat was spinach ! Ha ha.

**Creeper:** Yesterday it was tim tams today it's cookies :)

**Liz:** Cookies and milk.

**Chef Doyle:** mm cookies and milf 

**Doors:** Milf? aww thanks

** Chef Doyle added Jodie to the group chat.**

**Jodie:** This is interesting

**Chef Doyle:** You done in kitchen?

**Jodie:** Yea

**Booms:** yeah you finished fisting chickens hahahahaha

**Chef Doyle:** boomer some fucking times, i swear....

**Top Dog:** I'm sorry?

**Chef Doyle:** inside joke.....

**Booms:** oh,, yeah no, just a joke bea

**Top Dog:** OK.

**Booms:** fuck smiles coming!11

* * *

**Booms:** fuckin epic!!!!

**Booms added Sarah to the group chat.**

**Chef Doyle changed Sarah's name to Bubble Butt.**

**Bubble Butt:** Yea look on the freak's face!! good one Bea

**Booms:** yeah she's not taking my fucking smokes

**Chef Doyle:** Not like it's gonna make any difference..

**Doors:** um guys...

**Jodie:** @Top Dog where are u

**Creeper:** She's been slotted 

**Booms:** the fuck??

**Chef Doyle:** Lmao.

**Bubble Butt added Lucy to the group chat.**

**Lucy changed her name to Juice.**

**Chef Doyle:** why did u add her

**Bubble Butt:** cause she asked

**Chef Doyle:** whatever. Sort the trays out will ya.

**Juice:** Never guess who i just fucking seen

**Booms:** Wot who

**Doors:** .......

**Juice:** fucking Liz the @Lagger !!

**Booms:** WOT

**Booms:** right

**Maxi Pad:** Bea said not to lay I finger on her, don't even try it Booms i'm serious.

**Maxi Pad: **Boomer?

**Maxi Pad: **Oh great.

**Creeper:** This alarm's giving me a headache :|

* * *

**Chef Doyle:** fucks going on? We have a delivery we need to get

**Juice:** Fire in the yard ya twot

**Chef Doyle:** Piss off diesel dyke

**Juice:** whatever me an the boys need to find me some vinegar tits anyway

**Doors:** No offence but this is bloody stupid!

**Maxi Pad:** Bea's orders, bring anything you can to burn. Mattresses, magazines, anything girls.

**Chef Doyle:** Yeah some of us are in lockdown on our work duties thanks to red. Plus i'd rather not sleep on a metal frame. I'll pass.

**Booms:** yee fuckin haw

**Juice:** Vinegar tits is in the slot, bea's out

**Chef Doyle:** The kraken has been unleashed

**Creeper:** OMG this is so awesome

**Jodie:** Well I need a wee

**Booms:** I need a poo

**Chef Doyle:** I need this delivery.

* * *

**Jodie:** Is it finally over???

**Bubble Butt:** that was fucking amazing!!!!!

**Creeper:** "you don't run this prison I do" omg

**Chef Doyle:** Gay.

**Juice:** how long til we get our mattresses back b @Top Dog??

**Top Dog:** We'll see. Thanks to those who could get involved. The freak thought she had the reigns around this prison but she doesn't.

**Chef Doyle:** get off ya soapbox. 


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For clarity, this 'fic' if you can call it that lol, spans from season 3 onward. I doubt it will be super long, but I have some heavy angst fics planned in future and I wanted to try and get some humorous ones out before I begin on those. I also just realised you can post GIFS and images on AO3? This is where the fun begins....

**Top Dog:** Dracula will probably want to lay out a few things later. If anyone has any demands let me know.

**Top Dog:** IDK how it will go down for sure 

**Maxi Pad:** My backs not feeling too great atm...Don't suppose we'll get out mattresses back soon?

**Booms:** PLAYSTATION !!!!!!!!

**Top Dog:** Be reasonable....

**Booms:** pizza !!

**Chef Doyle:** ppft.

**Chef Doyle:** Head in the clouds, any "negotiating" you do with the freak goes nowhere she's just pulling the strings. you should know that

**Top Dog:** If you have anything else to contribute to the discussion, like actual demands Franky, that would be useful. JS

**Doors:** Oof

**Chef Doyle:** Reinstating privileges didn't slip your mind then?

**Booms:** PIIIIIZZZZZZAAAAAAA

**Booms:** MEAT FEAST 

**Booms:** P

**Booms:** I

**Booms:** Z

**Booms:** Z

**Booms:** A

**Lagger:** That is really annoying

**Booms:** shut your face slagger

**Booms:** *lagger LOL

**Doors:** Nah booms seriously just stop.

**Doors:** Tbf pizza does sound nice tho bea x

**Booms:** SEE yea you gotta bea

**Top Dog:** Christ fine Boomer but don't get your hopes up kay

**Bubble Butt:** ur the best Bea!!

**Chef Doyle:** oh shut up it's hardly coming out of her account is it

**Top Dog:** Which ones does everyone want?

**Booms:** meat feast

**Creeper:** Margarita 

**Chef Doyle:** bland af

**Doors:** Ham and pineapple!!X 

**Chef Doyle:** An abomination

**Bubble Butt:** Pepperoni :)

**Chef Doyle:** Standard

**Jodie:** Bacon, mushroom and chicken x

**Chef Doyle:** extra.

**Creeper:** Quite like spinach olives and cheese too

**Chef Doyle:** What the fuck

**Maxi Pad:** All in favour of pizza?

**Jodie:** I

**Booms:** ME

**Maxi Pad:** I

**Bubble Butt:** I

**Doors:** Aye

**Chef Doyle:** no I would not like a taste of Red's pizza.

**Top Dog: **

**Booms**: LOL u sure about that franky hahahahaha

* * *

**Top Dog:** Negotiations went down. We have to clean the yard. Privileges reinstated. Pizza's being delivered.

**Booms:** FUCK YEAAAAAA

**Doors:** Thanks bea!! x

**Bubble Butt:** Yeah brill :)

**Jodie:** :D

**Maxi Dog:** Cool. See you on the yard to clean up!

**Chef Doyle:** Do you. Have to type. Every sentence. Like this.

**Chef Doyle:** @Jodie @Booms @Bubble Butt hurry up and get it eaten we need these deliveries in

**Chef Doyle:** like now

* * *

**Booms added Tina to the group chat.**

**Chef Doyle:** vinegar tits keeps hanging around like a fucking bad smell

**Jodie:** it's those yummy chickens....

**Chef Doyle:** now got her banging on about food safety standards, kill me now

**Tina:** Cos u stupid 母狗 don't know how to cook

**Booms:** wot sorry we don't speak spaghetti 

**Jodie:** oof

**Tina:** SMH stupid racist dumbass, u can barely speak English

**Bubble Butt: **

**Booms:** piss off

**Bubble Butt:** shiiiitttt just dropped half the carrots :(

**Chef Doyle:**

* * *

**Doors:** Aww joshie's kicking up a storm today

**Chef Doyle:** Is that not what fetuses usually do.

**Doors:** Lol you're so enthusiastic franky

**Chef Doyle:** What can I say

**Booms:** yea well bet joshie would've liked me shampoo but ur stuck up :/

**Doors:** Yeah whatever boomer. Shouldn't have bashed liz.

**Booms:** I GOTDSEVEN FUKING YEARS,!

**Creeper:** Lol did everyone hear about the letter Bea got.

**Chef Doyle:** no i'm truly fascinated.

**Doors:** hahahah yeah, some woman whose like her total admirer wants to meet with her.

**Chef Doyle:** That's nothing, should've seen some of the mail i got.....

**Booms: **looooool so much porn

**Maxi Pad:** Where is Bea anyway?

**Doors:** oh she's in the freak's office x

**Chef Doyle:** when isn't she

**Booms:** wonda what there doing

**Chef Doyle:** I don't.......

**Maxi Pad:** Very mature.

**Top Dog:** @Maxi Pad need to talk urgent

**Chef Doyle:** right well I'm going to see a man about a dog

**Booms:** i'll bring the cards

**Jodie:** ooh i'll join!

**Bubble Butt:** me too :)

**Tina:** @Chef Doyle me and Cindy Lou will speak with you.

**Juice:** yea me same !!

**Chef Doyle:** fucking hell alright, try and be discreet...

**Top Dog:** Interesting.

* * *

**Juice:** hows the lagger these days

**Tina:** She looks like a hot dog bun

**Booms:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

**Lagger:** Leave me alone please.

**Top Dog:** Back the fuck off yeah.

**Juice:** K

* * *

**Creeper:** Guess who just became bub's alternate carer!!! :))

**Top Dog: **cool.

**Chef Doyle: **

**Doors:** stop being a bitch.

**Maxi Pad:** Delivery's here

**Jodie:** Jackson "whose feeling strong"

**Jodie:**

**Bubble Butt:** shit shit shit the freak and vinegar tits with sniffer dogs!!!!!!

**Bubble Butt:**

* * *

**Booms:** fuckin cell toss my arse

**Doors:** Stuff everywhere :(

**Booms:** OMG NO WAY!!1

**Chef Doyle:** What the fuck

**Bubble Butt:** Bye jodie :(

**Top Dog:** Everyone in laundry. Now.

**Chef Doyle:** ffs

**Booms:** but im on the bog

**Top Dog:** Now

**Booms:** aite least let me wipe me arse first jeez

* * *

**Doors:** yikes

**Lagger:** Oh God Bea I told you to leave it.

**Top Dog:** What's done is done. No one ignore what I say in future or there's consequences.

**Chef Doyle left the group chat.**

**Booms added Chef Doyle to the group chat.**

**Booms:** @Chef Doyle fucking slag

**Creeper:** Wait how are u even typing boomer?

**Doors:** I'm typing for her...


End file.
